Naomi Angoff Chedd, LMHC, BCBA, LBA is a licensed mental health counselor and licensed and board-certified behavior analyst with more than 20 years of clinical experience working with children and adolescents with complex medical, social-emotional, educational, and behavioral challenges. She is a co-author of three published books on autism spectrum disorders.
In my first clinical encounter of my first internship at a developmental evaluation clinic, I met a couple who had brought their young child in for a developmental evaluation. I was excited; I was part of a team at a world-renowned hospital. I mostly observed that day, and then I was invited to participate in the feedback session. The child had shown major signs of autism, and the team needed to communicate this news to anxious young parents in a way that made sense and also gave them some direction for supporting their child’s developmental, emotional, and psychological growth.
The couple didn’t hear, or at least didn’t appear to absorb, much of what was said at that 30-minute meeting. They heard the words, “Your child meets the criteria for autism,” and immediately declared with certainty that they knew the reason for it: he was conceived before they were married, and this was their punishment.
A few weeks later, during a similar evaluation of a 4-year old, the child’s mother slipped out to get a snack before the feedback session was about to begin. Her husband, their child’s father, said matter-of-factly, “ I knew something was wrong—and it’s her fault. Her family is so cold. They never smile. Not like my side of the family.”
That was more than 20 years ago. While there are many underlying causes for autism, and there is often an identifiable genetic component, we know now (as we knew then) that it has nothing to do with the parents’ marital status when the child was conceived or with “cold” extended families. Autism is not caused by vaccines. It is not an illness. You cannot catch it, and it has no cure.
There are some other myths about autism that need to be put to rest. To name a few: people with autism aren’t empathic (some are; some are less so—like the rest of humankind); people with autism can’t form close friendships or romantic relationships (some do; some don’t—just like the rest of humankind); and people with autism can’t take care of themselves when they grow up (an increasing number of adults with autism are able to live independently or with a little or a lot of help and support).
As much as we now know about autism, we still don’t know a lot, especially about the specific underlying causes and the very best approaches or combination of approaches to educating and working with individuals who have this diagnosis. When it comes to providing help and support for people with autism, one size fits nobody.
What we do know is how to think about autism. Autism is not just one condition; rather, it encompasses a spectrum with diverse dimensions, presentations, and potential outcomes. We now better understand how to approach individuals and their families with kindness, compassion, sensitivity, and patience. We approach them with curiosity—what do they, themselves want, feel, and need from us? But mostly, we treat them with a sense of acceptance and appreciation for the differences and strengths they bring to this world while simultaneously trying to understand the extreme challenges that many encounter when trying to live a meaningful life.
I see myself as an educator, an advocate, and a counselor for individuals and their families. I don’t know exactly what will work for everyone, but I can share what has worked for others in similar circumstances with similar goals. I can help them identify what is important to them, what they can do right away that will ease their frustration and make life more enjoyable, and what they can do to work toward future goals.
Each time I meet a child or an adult with autism and their families, I ask myself, “How do I make sure they are heard? How can I help? How can I give them hope?” If we are to create a more inclusive and understanding world for autistic individuals and their families, that's a good place to start.
The views and opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and should not be attributed to Counslr, Inc., its partners, its employees, or any other mental health professionals Counslr employs. You should review this information and any questions regarding your specific circumstances with a medical professional. The content provided here is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as counseling, therapy, or professional medical advice.
Naomi Angoff Chedd, LMHC, BCBA, LBA is a licensed mental health counselor and licensed and board-certified behavior analyst with more than 20 years of clinical experience working with children and adolescents with complex medical, social-emotional, educational, and behavioral challenges. She is a co-author of three published books on autism spectrum disorders.
In my first clinical encounter of my first internship at a developmental evaluation clinic, I met a couple who had brought their young child in for a developmental evaluation. I was excited; I was part of a team at a world-renowned hospital. I mostly observed that day, and then I was invited to participate in the feedback session. The child had shown major signs of autism, and the team needed to communicate this news to anxious young parents in a way that made sense and also gave them some direction for supporting their child’s developmental, emotional, and psychological growth.
The couple didn’t hear, or at least didn’t appear to absorb, much of what was said at that 30-minute meeting. They heard the words, “Your child meets the criteria for autism,” and immediately declared with certainty that they knew the reason for it: he was conceived before they were married, and this was their punishment.
A few weeks later, during a similar evaluation of a 4-year old, the child’s mother slipped out to get a snack before the feedback session was about to begin. Her husband, their child’s father, said matter-of-factly, “ I knew something was wrong—and it’s her fault. Her family is so cold. They never smile. Not like my side of the family.”
That was more than 20 years ago. While there are many underlying causes for autism, and there is often an identifiable genetic component, we know now (as we knew then) that it has nothing to do with the parents’ marital status when the child was conceived or with “cold” extended families. Autism is not caused by vaccines. It is not an illness. You cannot catch it, and it has no cure.
There are some other myths about autism that need to be put to rest. To name a few: people with autism aren’t empathic (some are; some are less so—like the rest of humankind); people with autism can’t form close friendships or romantic relationships (some do; some don’t—just like the rest of humankind); and people with autism can’t take care of themselves when they grow up (an increasing number of adults with autism are able to live independently or with a little or a lot of help and support).
As much as we now know about autism, we still don’t know a lot, especially about the specific underlying causes and the very best approaches or combination of approaches to educating and working with individuals who have this diagnosis. When it comes to providing help and support for people with autism, one size fits nobody.
What we do know is how to think about autism. Autism is not just one condition; rather, it encompasses a spectrum with diverse dimensions, presentations, and potential outcomes. We now better understand how to approach individuals and their families with kindness, compassion, sensitivity, and patience. We approach them with curiosity—what do they, themselves want, feel, and need from us? But mostly, we treat them with a sense of acceptance and appreciation for the differences and strengths they bring to this world while simultaneously trying to understand the extreme challenges that many encounter when trying to live a meaningful life.
I see myself as an educator, an advocate, and a counselor for individuals and their families. I don’t know exactly what will work for everyone, but I can share what has worked for others in similar circumstances with similar goals. I can help them identify what is important to them, what they can do right away that will ease their frustration and make life more enjoyable, and what they can do to work toward future goals.
Each time I meet a child or an adult with autism and their families, I ask myself, “How do I make sure they are heard? How can I help? How can I give them hope?” If we are to create a more inclusive and understanding world for autistic individuals and their families, that's a good place to start.
The views and opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and should not be attributed to Counslr, Inc., its partners, its employees, or any other mental health professionals Counslr employs. You should review this information and any questions regarding your specific circumstances with a medical professional. The content provided here is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as counseling, therapy, or professional medical advice.
One Size Fits Nobody: A Personal Perspective on Autism
Naomi Angoff Chedd, LMHC, BCBA, LBA is a licensed mental health counselor and licensed and board-certified behavior analyst with more than 20 years of clinical experience working with children and adolescents with complex medical, social-emotional, educational, and behavioral challenges. She is a co-author of three published books on autism spectrum disorders.
In my first clinical encounter of my first internship at a developmental evaluation clinic, I met a couple who had brought their young child in for a developmental evaluation. I was excited; I was part of a team at a world-renowned hospital. I mostly observed that day, and then I was invited to participate in the feedback session. The child had shown major signs of autism, and the team needed to communicate this news to anxious young parents in a way that made sense and also gave them some direction for supporting their child’s developmental, emotional, and psychological growth.
The couple didn’t hear, or at least didn’t appear to absorb, much of what was said at that 30-minute meeting. They heard the words, “Your child meets the criteria for autism,” and immediately declared with certainty that they knew the reason for it: he was conceived before they were married, and this was their punishment.
A few weeks later, during a similar evaluation of a 4-year old, the child’s mother slipped out to get a snack before the feedback session was about to begin. Her husband, their child’s father, said matter-of-factly, “ I knew something was wrong—and it’s her fault. Her family is so cold. They never smile. Not like my side of the family.”
That was more than 20 years ago. While there are many underlying causes for autism, and there is often an identifiable genetic component, we know now (as we knew then) that it has nothing to do with the parents’ marital status when the child was conceived or with “cold” extended families. Autism is not caused by vaccines. It is not an illness. You cannot catch it, and it has no cure.
There are some other myths about autism that need to be put to rest. To name a few: people with autism aren’t empathic (some are; some are less so—like the rest of humankind); people with autism can’t form close friendships or romantic relationships (some do; some don’t—just like the rest of humankind); and people with autism can’t take care of themselves when they grow up (an increasing number of adults with autism are able to live independently or with a little or a lot of help and support).
As much as we now know about autism, we still don’t know a lot, especially about the specific underlying causes and the very best approaches or combination of approaches to educating and working with individuals who have this diagnosis. When it comes to providing help and support for people with autism, one size fits nobody.
What we do know is how to think about autism. Autism is not just one condition; rather, it encompasses a spectrum with diverse dimensions, presentations, and potential outcomes. We now better understand how to approach individuals and their families with kindness, compassion, sensitivity, and patience. We approach them with curiosity—what do they, themselves want, feel, and need from us? But mostly, we treat them with a sense of acceptance and appreciation for the differences and strengths they bring to this world while simultaneously trying to understand the extreme challenges that many encounter when trying to live a meaningful life.
I see myself as an educator, an advocate, and a counselor for individuals and their families. I don’t know exactly what will work for everyone, but I can share what has worked for others in similar circumstances with similar goals. I can help them identify what is important to them, what they can do right away that will ease their frustration and make life more enjoyable, and what they can do to work toward future goals.
Each time I meet a child or an adult with autism and their families, I ask myself, “How do I make sure they are heard? How can I help? How can I give them hope?” If we are to create a more inclusive and understanding world for autistic individuals and their families, that's a good place to start.
The views and opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and should not be attributed to Counslr, Inc., its partners, its employees, or any other mental health professionals Counslr employs. You should review this information and any questions regarding your specific circumstances with a medical professional. The content provided here is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as counseling, therapy, or professional medical advice.
